When Inanimate Objects Attack
by Clear Eyed Dreamer
Summary: And to think, it all started with a Frisbee…a Frisbee named Mr. Happy…
1. Chapter 1

When Inanimate Objects Attack

Author: Victory Goddess

Summary: And to think, it all started with a Frisbee…a Frisbee named Mr. Happy…

Chapter 1: Evolution Meets Mr. Happy

It was a bright and cheerful day, the grass was swaying gently in the slight breeze under the clear blue sky, the birds were singing and children were out playing. Ric Flair was out enjoying the day and getting in some exercise at the same time. He stopped for a second to take a swig from his water bottle before continuing on the gravel path that cut across the large park.

Then it hit him, he didn't know what it was, all he knew was that it smacked him right in the temple and sent him to the ground. Ric wasn't out for more then a second but when he opened his eyes he could barely repress a scream at the beady black eyes set in a round yellow face that grinned back at him.

He closed his eyes again before swearing at himself and getting to his feet. Ric looked around but could see no one, not even the children who were out playing with their dog only moments ago. With a scratch to his head he hunched down and picked up the offensive toy.

The Frisbee wasn't even all that good of quality, it was thin and looked to be broken easily if tried. But those eyes and the grin below them… Ric couldn't figure it out, it looked like they were laughing at him, making fun of him.

Ric shook his head to clear it and laughed nervously, he must have been starring at that toy for at least two minutes before he pulled himself away. He turned it over in his hands to read the scrawled black permanent marker on the back, written in the hand writing of a young child, 'Mr. Happy' it read.

"Mr. Happy." Ric repeated and clucked his tongue. "Kids." He muttered before throwing the Frisbee in the bushes lining the path and jogging away, never turning back to see the eyes looking at him.

"Wake up!" Ric Flair woke up at the near yelled words coming from Triple H's mouth. He yawned and only barely managed to pull himself up to a sitting position on the couch in Evolution's locker room. His run earlier had tired him out, and his temple still pained him.

Triple H shook his head and returned to taping up his wrists for the night, chatting slightly with Randy Orton and Batista. Hunter looked over his shoulder at Ric when a knock sounded on the door. "Get that, will ya?"

Ric yawned at smoothed back his hair as he got to his feet, sending a nod the way of Hunter. He opened the door to find no one there. "There's no one here, guys." He told them.

"Hm?" Randy looked over from his seat on a chair. "What's that?" He asked, a bright snatch of yellow on the ground outside the door catching his eye.

"What's what?" Ric replied, then followed Randy's point to the ground. "What the…" Ric trailed off as he looked down at the grinning Frisbee. He stooped to pick it up before closing the door and turning to his fellow Evolution members.

"It's a Frisbee." Hunter said with a hint of amusement. "That's a new one."

"No need to turn white there, Ric." Batista told him, shaking his head at the older man.

"Guys," Ric began, "This is no ordinary Frisbee."

"Really? Looks like one to me." Randy laughed at the look of slight fear on Ric's face. "Here, let me see." He held up his hand for Ric to throw it to him, which he did. "Shit." Randy stood up quickly, clutching the hand that had caught the Frisbee. He held it up for the other members to see as blood trickled down his wrist. The Frisbee was indeed broken, right between the eyes, and it was sharp, razor sharp and had clamped over Randy's hand when he had gone to grab it from the air.

Triple H let out a hoot of laughter. "It's obviously out to get you Randy."

"Mr. Happy." Ric muttered, earning himself a look from Randy as he pulled the broken Frisbee off his hand. "Check the back, does it say Mr. Happy in thick black printing?"

Randy turned it over. "Yeah, so what?"

"So, it attacked me earlier." Ric told them, walking further into the room, keeping one eye on the Frisbee that Randy had dropped on the couch.

"Attacked you?" Batista repeated sceptically. "You're getting absent minded, Ric, might be time for retirement and an old folks home."

"Frisbee's don't attack people." Triple H told Ric, picking up Mr. Happy and turning him over in his hands. "It's just a child's toy, probably some stupid prank to get at you, and it's working at that."

"It is kind of weird though…" Randy trailed off. "I mean, you have to admit that."

Hunter raised his eyebrow in amusement. "I don't have to admit anything. You're getting as bad as Ric over there. It's just a little plastic disc, it's just an inanimate object."


	2. Chapter 2

When Inanimate Objects Attack

Author: Victory Goddess

Disclaimer: Forgot to put this, but anyway, I don't own anyone belonging to the WWE, hell, I don't even own Mr. Happy, he's my best friend's Frisbee, and an evil Frisbee at that…

A/N: I'm sorry if this chapter is a little…odd…in any way, but you see, I just got home from work, and I work in a coffee place and after work I binged on Ice Caps, which is a drink filled with caffeine, so yeah, I might be just a tad hyper.

Chapter 2: It's a Miracle

"It's just a stupid Frisbee, Ric." Triple H said, exasperated with his team mate. "It's not out to get you, hell, it can't even move by itself. You've been going on about it for the last half hour and I swear to God that if you mention that fucking Frisbee one more time, I might have to hurt you."

Ric sighed and shook his head as he trailed behind Triple H back to their locker room, why wouldn't they believe him that a Frisbee was out to get him? It wasn't that farfetched.

"Forget about it, Hunter," Batista joined in, "I say we just save his kids the trouble and get him committed to an old folks home ourselves."

"That might just happen unless he gets off of this." Hunter turned his head to glance at Ric. "I mean, c'mon Ric, think about it, Frisbee's don't attack people, people attack people, we just have to figure out who's behind this."

Ric bit his lip to keep from saying anything and looked at Randy who had kept silent about it for the last little bit. If only he could get Randy to say something, he knew that he'd back him up, he was a victim of the evil Frisbee as well.

They turned into their locker room and Triple H immediately plopped himself down on the couch before jumping up again and grabbing his butt. He looked down at the Frisbee he had sat on and picked it up. "The stupid thing has a sharp edge."

"It's where it's broken." Randy said absently, holding up his now bandaged hand. "Remember this? I endured that edge worse then you did."

Triple H laughed. "Yeah but I'm not about to believe that it's out to get me now."

"Oh yeah, tremble Hunter, the evil Frisbee will hunt you down until it gets you." Batista laughed. "This is sad."

"I never said that I thought it was out to get me." Randy insisted.

"You didn't have to, we can see it on your face." Hunter said, less then amused now. "It's a child's toy, for God's sake you two." He turned it over in his and examined it before throwing it at Ric who ducked it and let out a small sound of fright. This made Triple H and Batista burst out laughing.

"Yeah, laugh while you can, he'll get you too." Ric warned them.

"He?" Triple H repeated between laughs. "It has a gender now."

"It always had a gender, 'Mr. Happy', remember?" Ric stated.

"Oh, right, how could I forget?" Triple H rolled his eyes and nudged Batista in the ribs who let out a small chuckle.

Randy sighed and bent over to pick up the toy, straightening, his face turned white. "It's not broken anymore." He stated.

"What?" Ric asked, leaning over to look at the held up Frisbee.

"It's not broken." Randy repeated, turning it over and over in his hands, trying to find the broken part.

"So? That just means some kid came in here while we were gone and switched Frisbee's on us." Triple H reasoned.

"But it stabbed you." Randy stated. "That means that it had to have been broken when you sat on it."

"You're getting as bad as Ric now." Batista said. "Too bad you're too young to be committed to an old folks home."

"We can always get him committed elsewhere." Triple H suggested with a grin. "I'm sure some nice doctors would love to hear your two's theory on the attack of the evil Frisbee."

"Don't make light of the situation." Ric told them seriously, placing his hands on his hips. "We're dealing with a potentially murderous Frisbee here."

Triple H tried to surpress a laugh but failed miserably. He wiped tears out of his eyes as he looked at Ric again. "Thanks Ric, I really needed a good laugh."

"You won't be laughing when he gets to you, non-believer." Ric threatened.

"Hell, Ric, for all I know, you and Randy just set this stupid thing up to try to prank us and now that it's not working you're trying to force it on us." Hunter sat back on the couch. "Just give it up."

"Alright, if you don't want to believe us, we'll go find some people who do." Ric told him stubbornly. "C'mon Randy."

Randy glanced at Triple H and Batista before hesitantly following Ric out, still holding Mr. Happy.


End file.
